Growth is not a secret. We (as mothers) model the positive changes we want for our children. Being in touch with our family values brings clarity to the “why” in our days. Why do we pick up around the house? Because we take pride in our home. Or we believe in personal responsibility. Or we want to maintain a feeling of peace in our house. Or all of the above. Being clear about the “why” and sharing that with our children takes a lot of the anger or annoyance out of daily chores. Talk with your family about your thoughts this week and how you can work together to establish and meet your family’s “sense of home” goals. Write about what went well with the conversation and what ideas might need more work or a revisit.
Look at yesterday’s list. What could you do to focus more on those values? Which ones need more focus in this season of motherhood? Do you value hard work, self care, forgiveness, grace, fun? Choose one (or as many as you like!) and come up with ideas & a plan to strengthen that value as it relates to your family’s sense of home.
This could look like “In this family, we value personal responsibility = more tidying up after ourselves. Or “we value fun = making time and space for more board games or honoring family game night. Or we value connection = more meals together at the table without devices. Forgiveness = vowing not to go to bed angry &/or maintaining a peaceful bedroom space. Grace = going to bed on nights we need more sleep and leaving the dishes and not beating ourselves up about it.
Finish this sentence, over and over. What are your family values? How are those reflected in your home?
How do you feel about household chores? Write about it. Why write about how we feel about chores? Because your attitude surrounding chores can have a huge impact on how you view your home. How were you raised? Were chores a punishment? Were they a way to bless your home, in a sense, and show gratitude? Is cleaning or picking up just something your family does or is it a big production?
How do you view your home? Is it overwhelming? Is it calming? Is it what you need or want it to be? How much of this feeling is influenced by your view of chores? Spend some time today answering these questions, making connections, and sorting it out by writing it out.
Is your home welcoming? How do you welcome people into your home? How do you make them feel welcome? Is it with a clean entryway? A sign? A warm smile? A cup of tea? Today we’re writing about that ‘welcoming feeling’ we can feel in our own home or others. Write about what it means to feel welcome—this can be in your own home or a time you felt warmly welcomed into someone else’s house.
Where in your home do you connect (undistracted) with your family? At the kitchen table? In the kitchen? Living room floor? Bedrooms? The front porch? Where do the best conversations take place? Write about where you connect with each family member.
What could you do to make those spaces more inviting? Keeping the kitchen island clear? Putting a centerpiece or candles on the kitchen table? Inviting the kids to help you cook? A fresh flower in a small vase on the nightstand? (This is going to look totally different depending on which season of motherhood you are in).
When you were growing up, what did “home” look like? What do you remember from your childhood that really felt like “home” to you? Was it the cooking? Meals at the table? Smells? Photos? Routines? That feeling of relief when you walked through the door? A favorite reading corner? The people? Write it down.
What would you pull from those memories and apply to your family and current living situation?