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Tough Times

How do you show up for your friends during tough times? Times that are either centered around motherhood (i.e. infertility, miscarriage, death, illness, divorce, etc.) or around non-motherhood issues (loss of job, move, financial trouble, etc.)?

Does offering help or support come easy to you? What is your first instinct when reaching out…Words? Actions? Meals? Babysitting? Giving them space? How was caring for others in times of need modeled for you? What do you feel you are modeling for your children when it comes to helping others during tough times?

If it doesn’t come easy to you, who/what could help you with that? Online resources? Other friends? Have you ever thought about bringing this issue up within your circle of friends outside of a crisis time?

Vulnerability

A big part of friendship is being able to be vulnerable in front of others. Vulnerability, by its truthfulness, builds trust and connection with others. How easy is it for you to be vulnerable in front of people you know? What about people you have just met? Can you think of a time when you were vulnerable and it felt like it backfired? What about a time you were vulnerable and it led to relief or understanding? Do you feel like others can be vulnerable in front of you?

Show Up

A big part of friendship is showing up…in person to moms groups, lunch invites, parties, etc. When you’re invited to functions or play dates, what are your initial reactions? Are you excited to be invited? Nervous? Grateful? Overwhelmed?

Take a look at yourself and do an honest evaluation: are you happy with how much you show up? Are you flakey with plans? Do you feel like others can count on you to show up? When you RSVP “yes,” do you commit? If you’re overwhelmed, how could you make the commitment to invites less stressful?

Modeling

What do you model for your children when it comes to friendships? In other words, how do you talk about people when they aren’t around? Knowing that our kids are always listening and watching and that our actions speak louder than words…what do you think your child picks up on in your casual conversations about friendship? Do you gossip in their presence? Do you try to work out issues? Do they hear you talk about others? If so, how do you talk about them?

If you were to try and look at your friendships through your child’s eyes, what do imagine they see? Kindness? Fun? Joy? Stress? Insecurity? Growth? Honesty? Connection? Are you satisfied with your answers? Can you see both positives and negatives?

What You Offer

A huge part of friendship that is often overlooked is not what we get but what we give. What do you offer others in your friendships? Look at your list from yesterday. What on that list do you offer? Can you think of a specific time you offered those important qualities? Write about who and when.

Your Needs

What do you need out of friendships? Time together? A sounding board? Acceptance? Kindness? Unconditional love and support? Zero judgment? Authenticity? Trust? Dependability? Humor? Forgiveness? For someone to be easy going? Compassion?

What’s not on your list? Perfection? None of us are ever going to say or do the right things at the right times when we are around other mamas. Do you recall a time where you didn’t say or do the right thing in a social situation?

Criteria. Look at your list of needs for friendships. Which need is most important to you? Do you have criteria? (As a personal example, mine is basically kindness and commitment. Friendship to me doesn’t look like “x” amount of time spent together, it’s more a feeling of connection. I want to feel like people are walking beside me and not in front of or behind me. I don’t want to feel judged, just a feeling of mutual respect and growth). What surprised you most on your list?

Real Life Friends List

What does your real life friends list look like? People in your family? Your kids? Partner? Mom friends? Work friends? Entire families? Individuals? List them by name and then at least one thing you admire about your friendship.

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For a person who doesn’t see the world as black For a person who doesn’t see the world as black and white, I sure am embracing that color combo on my head 😍

Headband: @cbbowshop 🖤

#grombre #silverhair #silversisters #silversisters #greyhairstyle #greyhairtransition #greytransition #greyhairmovement #growingmyhairout #growingmygrey #thelifeschoolist #lifeschoolist #lifeschooling #perspectiveiseverything #headbandhandmade #greyhairjourney #greyhairrevolution #blackandwhitehair #mauimama #loribeth #elevatingmotherhood #normalizegreyhair
I wanted to call this episode about 900 different I wanted to call this episode about 900 different things, everything from ”When Virtual School Isn’t Working” to “7 Common Concerns Keeping You From Homeschooling.” 😉

I’m not trying to sell anyone on the notion of homeschool or even present homeschool as “the” answer to anyone—not at all. It ISN’T the right fit for every family. But it is a valid, legal, freeing option for many…an option that I’m finding most families don’t know about! 

In today’s show I go over the 7 common concerns that keep many parents from pursuing homeschool and share insight and options for those families who do need/want different options, those who are curious about homeschool (now or in the future), or anyone who is simply looking for an alternative to virtual learning (if it’s not a great fit for them). 

I don’t criminalize any learning styles in this episode—we’ve all been tasked with the impossible this year and by gosh, we’re doing it. 

I don’t believe there is a one size fits all answer for anyone when it comes to anything. Parents can only get closer to figuring out what works for their family if they have resources, information, and answers to their questions. I hope it helps 😘 

If you have concerns or questions not mentioned in this episode, please let me know 🙏 #happytohelp
Portrait of Work at Home/Homeschool Mom Life. 🖼 Portrait of Work at Home/Homeschool Mom Life. 🖼 

I am obviously not attending any zoom meetings today 🙃, but I am working from home on a Saturday morning after pumpkin pancakes with coconut whipped cream and a coconut latte. 😍 Homeschool will be happening later at the beach. 📚☀️

You CAN work from home AND homeschool your kids. For most of us who do it, it just doesn’t look like the M-F, 9 to 5 life that society tries to sell us as “the one way” that’s best for everyone. There is no one way that’s best for everyone (like, ever 🤷🏻‍♀️). Flexibility & freedom happens to work best for me and my family. 

So many others are curious about how we do it or even contemplating if it could work for their family. I’ll be talking about it a bit more on the podcast today when Episode 91 of @elevatingmotherhood goes live. 🙌

If you’ve been thinking about switching to homeschool, drop your questions or concerns below and I’ll get back to you with ideas or resources👇😘 

It can be done! Not every moment looks glamorous (exhibit A) but it’s a lot of fun. And the permanent exhale of not having to work around a school’s formal schedule is priceless! 🤩
A powerful notion. A big truth. It is an honor to A powerful notion. A big truth. It is an honor to spend my life and days helping other mamas step into their power & truth. We are changing the world. 💙
I *think* this was the photo on our Christmas card I *think* this was the photo on our Christmas card 🎄🤷🏻‍♀️😜 The days are blurring together and I’m not sure anymore. It’s almost a month after the Christmas holiday and I still have gifts to finalize, photos to order and send to family, and a handful of random holiday knick knacks and decor to put away...

Oh, well. 🙃

A few years ago I would have beat myself up over this, but this year I’m not—I decided to give myself actual grace and simply rest in the truth that I’m doing the best I can. I have too much on my plate (always) and I want to try and keep my expectations in check. My to-do list does not align with my available time or energy at the moment, so I’m going to allow myself some head space to sort that out. 💜

It takes practice to stop looking at an unfinished to-do list as a failure but instead see it as a motivator to move forward, dream big, & keep showing up. (That being said, sometimes I still wish that I could be two people…one just staying here and cooking and homesteading and learning with my kids while the other LB goes off and binge writes for 2 whole months and drinks coconut lattes all day. Oh, well…😉). 

Grateful for all that I do have and that I get to work on as I move one step closer to the true, whole me a little every day 😘 

How’s your to-do list looking these days, mama? Am I the only one who still has Christmas 2020 on her list? 🤪

Photo: @kristycopperfieldphotography
“Are you telling your soul to sit down and shut “Are you telling your soul to sit down and shut up so you can do the ‘more important’ work of getting through the week?” -Allison Fallon

A lot of writers worry that their writing isn’t going to be any good—but then find a way through that doubt during their writing. A lot of moms worry that what they’re doing isn’t any good either. What if moms had a tool to work through that doubt? Today’s guest Ally Fallon makes a solid case for how writing could be just the tool we need. She brings all kinds of encourage and insight about the sacred act of making space for writing in our lives and how to not get stuck in our to-do lists or lost in distractions. 💕

Ally is a new mom with a new book: The Power of Writing It Down: A Simple Habit to Unlock Your Brain and Reimagine Your Life. She’s going to help us see the myths surrounding writing (including the one that writing is for some people and not for others). She shares how writing has been transformative in her own life and shows us how it can reveal things we didn’t know about ourselves before we wrote them down. Writing is revelation and learning through play…things that we see and encourage in our children on a daily basis. Ally shows us how we can now turn that same philosophy and encouragement inward and apply it to ourselves as moms. 

We talk about all the things: writing, motherhood, misconceptions, spirituality, connection, life-long learning, the power of getting to know ourselves, and what you can do to get started today. We’re going to bust through some learned writer’s block and show you how to use writing as a vehicle to get to know your truest self.  This is a great episode for all moms—whether you identify as a “writer” or not. And if you’re a homeschool mom, it’s easy to see how these writing ideas can crossover into homeschool as well. 

Ally’s Bio: Allison Fallon is an award-winning author, sought after public speaker, and nationally recognized writing coach. She has worked with thousands of people to realize their writing potential and become published authors. Check her out: @allyfallon 📚😘
Writing has been a huuuuge part of my life for a l Writing has been a huuuuge part of my life for a long time. I have two master’s degrees in literature and creative writing. I love journaling and write guided journals. I jot things down on napkins, receipts, and piece of scrap paper surface I can find...

AND YET.

I still learned so much from reading @allyfallon ‘s newest book The Power of Writing It Down. 🙌 Ally is on the @elevatingmotherhood podcast this weekend talking about her book that is available this week! Tune in and be inspired! 💛😘
Do you study or appreciate or follow certain educa Do you study or appreciate or follow certain educators or education philosophies? 📚 The work of Charlotte Mason has been an extremely positive influence in our homeschool and in my motherhood journey. I’m curious to know what quotes, notions, & ideas influence you 😘
Did you read the title of this episode and think, Did you read the title of this episode and think, “I can’t seem to get ONE type of rest as a mom let alone 7!?” I know I did a double take when I first read about Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s idea that there are 7 different types of rest and that we need all 7, but…my curiosity was peaked! Diving into her explanations has brought me so much personal clarity, I’m so grateful for her work and all the ways she shows up and encourages mothers. 

This episode is so life giving—Dr. Saundra is articulate, kind, authentic, and just so generous with her insights. She teaches us what we need to show up as our true and best selves. 

I left this conversation feeling so understood—and I know you will, too. As Dr. Saundra presents these 7 types of rest, she doesn’t do it in a way that’s overwhelming but rather shows us a bigger picture and that we really are all quite unique. The types of rest I need most in this season of my life probably aren’t the same types of rest you will benefit from the most right now. There is no one size fits all answer for everyone, but when it comes to rest, there are a lot of options! These ideas about rest will help you learn more about your true self so that you can understand what you need—and then confidently meet that need armed with information and insights about these 7 types of rest. 

This topic is also a great conversation starter. Once you hear the different types of rest and take the quiz online (www.restquiz.com), I bet you’ll want to send this quiz to your partner, spouse, sisters, friends, and moms group so you can dive deeper into this topic with them! It’s the resolution we didn’t know we needed going into the new year. Learning about rest is a great way for us to become more self-aware so we can support and nourish our true selves, recover our lives, renew our energy, and restore our sanity. 

Dr. Saundra’s Bio: Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and author. She is an international wellness expert featured in numerous media outlets including Prevention, MSNBC, Women’s Day, FOX, Fast Company, Psychology Today, & as a guest on Dr. Oz show. More in the show notes on the EM website!

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