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When Friendships End

Have you ever ended a friendship? Write about what caused the end of that friendship. Do you ever feel like friendships from different seasons of life fade over time (because of a move, job or school change, etc.)? Do you feel like such changes need to end the friendship or simply change it? What values or causes would warrant the end of a friendship for you?

Has your child experienced a friendship ending or fading? What was it like for them?

Whew. Nice job, yayas. I know some of the topics this week weren’t that easy. I wish there were parts of life (especially in friendship) that weren’t so tough. But it’s good to know where you stand, really look at your values, what you bring to the table, your past, your hopes, all of it—so when our children come to us with questions or problems, we are able to guide them with more confidence and compassion as they maneuver the ups and downs of life and friendship. I’m proud of you! And super glad you’re part of this tribe of mamas who are putting in the work to strengthen themselves and their families!

Take a Break

Have you ever felt the need to take a break in your relationships? Have there been times when your children aren’t getting along with others and you simple pull back to see if space can help heal the situation? If so, write about it. If not, do you feel this could be an option?

Were you able to rebound from that break? Did you come back stronger? More weary? Do things different? Write about it.

Conflict

Conflict is going to how up in every relationship. Every. Single. One. Why? Because no two people are just alike. Similar, sure, but here’s hoping your circle of friends includes a very diverse group of women. Either way, every relationship has ups and downs. How comfortable are you with this idea? Write about it.
How do you approach conflict? Does it make you uncomfortable? Or are you like, “bring it on?” Maybe somewhere in the middle? Are you approachable around conflict? Awkward? Do you avoid it at all costs? Write about your conflict approach or style.

How do you help children during their conflicts with friends? Are they an instigator? How often does conflict come up for them? Do you talk with them about the fact that they will happen? Do you help them come up with a plan or strategy? Are you hands off? How do you handle conflict when other parents do or don’t get involved? Write about your child’s attitude toward conflict as well as your beliefs about their conflicts. How do you feel your approach has or will change with age?

Do you ever approach conflict in a non-judging, loving way? Do you feel like you can come together in community and say out loud that something feels uncomfortable and needs to be addressed? If so, why? If not, do you think you could ever get there or would want to get to that place?

Reputation

You more than likely have a reputation within your circle of friends. People know if you’re trustworthy, if you show up when you say you will show up, if you are an excuse maker, if you contribute, hostess with the mostest, etc.

But let’s have fun with it…think about your reputation in terms of tv, book, or movie characters. Who do you think you are in your circle of friends? Are you the Rachel, Ross, Joey, or Phoebe? Are you Lucy or Ethel? Thelma or Louise?

Insecurity

Do you ever feel insecure in your friendships? Can you think of a specific time when you did? Write about it. What do you need to feel secure in an individual friendship?

Do you feel your child feels secure in their friendships? How much of that do you think has to do with what you model? How much of that has to do with individual relationships? Time commitment? The age or stage your child is in? Etc.

What can you do to help your child feel more secure? Do you feel you need to be involved? If so, why? If not, why?

Competition

We’ve been conditioned to compete in almost all areas of our lives: from sports to the classroom to our job. But we cannot make motherhood a competition. That kind of competition serves no one.

And I’m going to make some bold statements against competition: You cannot think you are better than other people. You cannot think you are better than other moms. You can’t think you’re a better parent. You can’t think you are a better mom. You can’t think you’re a better friend.

There is no room for ego in genuine friendship.

It’s okay to acknowledge differences—everyone is different—just try not to make those differences a point of competition. Differences can instead be embraced and celebrated within friendships, or at the very least, mutually respected.

Write about your feelings on the following thought: Thinking you are better or less than your friend tarnishes that friendship.

Now look at your children’s friendships: how often is competition and comparison brought up within their circle of friends? If they are babies, how often are their growth charts and milestones compared? How does that serve them or you? If they are older, how important is it to them (or their friends) that something or someone is better, stronger, faster, nicer, etc. How does that serve them?

Boundaries

Do you have boundaries in your friendships? Do you feel like you need them to balance friend and family time? If so, what do those look like? If not, what guidelines or strategies do you have in place to balance the two?

Do your kids have boundaries in their friendships? Do you model boundaries for your kids? How much of those boundaries include time limits?

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For a person who doesn’t see the world as black For a person who doesn’t see the world as black and white, I sure am embracing that color combo on my head 😍

Headband: @cbbowshop 🖤

#grombre #silverhair #silversisters #silversisters #greyhairstyle #greyhairtransition #greytransition #greyhairmovement #growingmyhairout #growingmygrey #thelifeschoolist #lifeschoolist #lifeschooling #perspectiveiseverything #headbandhandmade #greyhairjourney #greyhairrevolution #blackandwhitehair #mauimama #loribeth #elevatingmotherhood #normalizegreyhair
I wanted to call this episode about 900 different I wanted to call this episode about 900 different things, everything from ”When Virtual School Isn’t Working” to “7 Common Concerns Keeping You From Homeschooling.” 😉

I’m not trying to sell anyone on the notion of homeschool or even present homeschool as “the” answer to anyone—not at all. It ISN’T the right fit for every family. But it is a valid, legal, freeing option for many…an option that I’m finding most families don’t know about! 

In today’s show I go over the 7 common concerns that keep many parents from pursuing homeschool and share insight and options for those families who do need/want different options, those who are curious about homeschool (now or in the future), or anyone who is simply looking for an alternative to virtual learning (if it’s not a great fit for them). 

I don’t criminalize any learning styles in this episode—we’ve all been tasked with the impossible this year and by gosh, we’re doing it. 

I don’t believe there is a one size fits all answer for anyone when it comes to anything. Parents can only get closer to figuring out what works for their family if they have resources, information, and answers to their questions. I hope it helps 😘 

If you have concerns or questions not mentioned in this episode, please let me know 🙏 #happytohelp
Portrait of Work at Home/Homeschool Mom Life. 🖼 Portrait of Work at Home/Homeschool Mom Life. 🖼 

I am obviously not attending any zoom meetings today 🙃, but I am working from home on a Saturday morning after pumpkin pancakes with coconut whipped cream and a coconut latte. 😍 Homeschool will be happening later at the beach. 📚☀️

You CAN work from home AND homeschool your kids. For most of us who do it, it just doesn’t look like the M-F, 9 to 5 life that society tries to sell us as “the one way” that’s best for everyone. There is no one way that’s best for everyone (like, ever 🤷🏻‍♀️). Flexibility & freedom happens to work best for me and my family. 

So many others are curious about how we do it or even contemplating if it could work for their family. I’ll be talking about it a bit more on the podcast today when Episode 91 of @elevatingmotherhood goes live. 🙌

If you’ve been thinking about switching to homeschool, drop your questions or concerns below and I’ll get back to you with ideas or resources👇😘 

It can be done! Not every moment looks glamorous (exhibit A) but it’s a lot of fun. And the permanent exhale of not having to work around a school’s formal schedule is priceless! 🤩
A powerful notion. A big truth. It is an honor to A powerful notion. A big truth. It is an honor to spend my life and days helping other mamas step into their power & truth. We are changing the world. 💙
I *think* this was the photo on our Christmas card I *think* this was the photo on our Christmas card 🎄🤷🏻‍♀️😜 The days are blurring together and I’m not sure anymore. It’s almost a month after the Christmas holiday and I still have gifts to finalize, photos to order and send to family, and a handful of random holiday knick knacks and decor to put away...

Oh, well. 🙃

A few years ago I would have beat myself up over this, but this year I’m not—I decided to give myself actual grace and simply rest in the truth that I’m doing the best I can. I have too much on my plate (always) and I want to try and keep my expectations in check. My to-do list does not align with my available time or energy at the moment, so I’m going to allow myself some head space to sort that out. 💜

It takes practice to stop looking at an unfinished to-do list as a failure but instead see it as a motivator to move forward, dream big, & keep showing up. (That being said, sometimes I still wish that I could be two people…one just staying here and cooking and homesteading and learning with my kids while the other LB goes off and binge writes for 2 whole months and drinks coconut lattes all day. Oh, well…😉). 

Grateful for all that I do have and that I get to work on as I move one step closer to the true, whole me a little every day 😘 

How’s your to-do list looking these days, mama? Am I the only one who still has Christmas 2020 on her list? 🤪

Photo: @kristycopperfieldphotography
“Are you telling your soul to sit down and shut “Are you telling your soul to sit down and shut up so you can do the ‘more important’ work of getting through the week?” -Allison Fallon

A lot of writers worry that their writing isn’t going to be any good—but then find a way through that doubt during their writing. A lot of moms worry that what they’re doing isn’t any good either. What if moms had a tool to work through that doubt? Today’s guest Ally Fallon makes a solid case for how writing could be just the tool we need. She brings all kinds of encourage and insight about the sacred act of making space for writing in our lives and how to not get stuck in our to-do lists or lost in distractions. 💕

Ally is a new mom with a new book: The Power of Writing It Down: A Simple Habit to Unlock Your Brain and Reimagine Your Life. She’s going to help us see the myths surrounding writing (including the one that writing is for some people and not for others). She shares how writing has been transformative in her own life and shows us how it can reveal things we didn’t know about ourselves before we wrote them down. Writing is revelation and learning through play…things that we see and encourage in our children on a daily basis. Ally shows us how we can now turn that same philosophy and encouragement inward and apply it to ourselves as moms. 

We talk about all the things: writing, motherhood, misconceptions, spirituality, connection, life-long learning, the power of getting to know ourselves, and what you can do to get started today. We’re going to bust through some learned writer’s block and show you how to use writing as a vehicle to get to know your truest self.  This is a great episode for all moms—whether you identify as a “writer” or not. And if you’re a homeschool mom, it’s easy to see how these writing ideas can crossover into homeschool as well. 

Ally’s Bio: Allison Fallon is an award-winning author, sought after public speaker, and nationally recognized writing coach. She has worked with thousands of people to realize their writing potential and become published authors. Check her out: @allyfallon 📚😘
Writing has been a huuuuge part of my life for a l Writing has been a huuuuge part of my life for a long time. I have two master’s degrees in literature and creative writing. I love journaling and write guided journals. I jot things down on napkins, receipts, and piece of scrap paper surface I can find...

AND YET.

I still learned so much from reading @allyfallon ‘s newest book The Power of Writing It Down. 🙌 Ally is on the @elevatingmotherhood podcast this weekend talking about her book that is available this week! Tune in and be inspired! 💛😘
Do you study or appreciate or follow certain educa Do you study or appreciate or follow certain educators or education philosophies? 📚 The work of Charlotte Mason has been an extremely positive influence in our homeschool and in my motherhood journey. I’m curious to know what quotes, notions, & ideas influence you 😘
Did you read the title of this episode and think, Did you read the title of this episode and think, “I can’t seem to get ONE type of rest as a mom let alone 7!?” I know I did a double take when I first read about Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith’s idea that there are 7 different types of rest and that we need all 7, but…my curiosity was peaked! Diving into her explanations has brought me so much personal clarity, I’m so grateful for her work and all the ways she shows up and encourages mothers. 

This episode is so life giving—Dr. Saundra is articulate, kind, authentic, and just so generous with her insights. She teaches us what we need to show up as our true and best selves. 

I left this conversation feeling so understood—and I know you will, too. As Dr. Saundra presents these 7 types of rest, she doesn’t do it in a way that’s overwhelming but rather shows us a bigger picture and that we really are all quite unique. The types of rest I need most in this season of my life probably aren’t the same types of rest you will benefit from the most right now. There is no one size fits all answer for everyone, but when it comes to rest, there are a lot of options! These ideas about rest will help you learn more about your true self so that you can understand what you need—and then confidently meet that need armed with information and insights about these 7 types of rest. 

This topic is also a great conversation starter. Once you hear the different types of rest and take the quiz online (www.restquiz.com), I bet you’ll want to send this quiz to your partner, spouse, sisters, friends, and moms group so you can dive deeper into this topic with them! It’s the resolution we didn’t know we needed going into the new year. Learning about rest is a great way for us to become more self-aware so we can support and nourish our true selves, recover our lives, renew our energy, and restore our sanity. 

Dr. Saundra’s Bio: Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and author. She is an international wellness expert featured in numerous media outlets including Prevention, MSNBC, Women’s Day, FOX, Fast Company, Psychology Today, & as a guest on Dr. Oz show. More in the show notes on the EM website!

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