First Mother’s Day

Dear yayas,

This will be my first Mother’s Day as a mom. It feels really special to me, something I’ve waited for my whole life. I know this sounds silly, but I feel like my husband doesn’t realize just how important this day is for me. I don’t want to be disappointed if he ends up doing his same old boring card routine. Is it wrong of me to want more than that? Motherhood is no joke. I just want to feel celebrated and important on my special day. How do I avoid being disappointed? 

– Expectant and Eager

It’s okay to have expectations. It’s also okay to express those—say them out loud. Husbands aren’t mind readers. If you want to plan your own Mother’s Day, you totally can. If you want someone else to plan your day, you might need to let go your expectations a bit. I wrote an article with a few meaningfully ideas…feel free to share it with him. Plant the seed that you want something special as soon as possible so he has time to plan. Happy First Mother’s Day! – Lori Beth

Hi Expectant and Eager! Happy Mother’s Day! It’s such a special day, especially your first one, for so many reasons that are unique to each of us mamas. In my experience of dealing with my DH, I think you need to convey your expectations clearly to your hubby. Bless their hearts, some spouses don’t value the same milestones as their significant other. Without communication, you could end up disappointed. I suggest sitting down with him and expressing that this day is so important to you and that you’d like to celebrate it in a worthy way. Make sure you give an example of what you want to happen so that it’s clear to him. I believe most husbands want to make the day special for their wives but they might not know what special means to us. Have the conversation-enjoy your day—but most of all, enjoy your family! – Cortney

Dear Expectant and Eager, You have to tell him!!! Exactly like your question, but think about what you want and be specific. Maybe a dress-up go-to brunch, maybe a dinner that he prepares for you with your child’s help? Maybe an adventure day, or a piece of jewelry commemorating the year? Whatever you do to create a new way for your family to celebrate Mother’s Day every year, bring your child into the celebration. My best treasures are Mother’s Day Cards that started as drawings and are now beautiful words of appreciation from my daughter. When she was 2.5 years old, she made me breakfast, lunch and dinner on Mother’s Day. I was served strawberries and potato chips on a tray for every meal with great presentation! Happy Mother’s Days!! – Taren

I can speak from personal experience, that you really do have to tell him exactly what you’d like. Otherwise, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment, especially since you’re already worried about that. I’ve had the best experience when I take the reins and help make the day something that I know I’ll enjoy. That may mean that I help with some of the planning and details, but that’s okay. The way I see it is that I’m in charge of my own happiness, and if I can help make the day something that my whole family and I will enjoy, I’m going to do that. – Diana

I would be clear and express to him how important this day is to you. Maybe give some suggestions on how you see the day going. This is something special for both of you to celebrate and he may need some guidance on how to prepare. Just think of it as way for you to create a new family tradition together. – Nadia

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