Potty Training

Dear yayas

My son is turning 3 soon and isn’t potty trained. I feel like he is behind when it comes to potty training. It’s embarrassing that my kid is one of our only friends who is struggling with this basic thing. Every time we try something different, it goes well for a bit and then he just regresses. Do you have any potty training tips? I’ll take any and all advice at this point!

– Training Trouble

Dear Training Trouble, Every child is unique in that their body and mind connection (concerning the sensation of pressure associated with having to pee or poo) develops in its own time. According to what I have read, boys tend to develop the ability to sense the pressure of having to pee later than girls. This is also supported by my own potty training experiences with my son. I tried everything in the books: no clothes or diaper, encouraging peeing outside, having training toilets set up all over the house in case he felt the need to go. We also tried to encourage him to keep going on the potty with sticker charts, lollipops etc. Then, I had baby number two and I simply couldn’t keep up our training routine. To my surprise, after a month of me not trying to potty train he trained himself in 4 short days!! He told me he could feel the pressure and had time to get to the toilet before loosing control. My son was over three at this point, and decided that he would use the regular toilet not his training potty. Double win for me. While he has the daytime thing down, his body is not ready to wake up at night so he remains in pull-ups while sleeping. Keep telling yourself that you’ve got this! As parents we can’t speed up the brain development of our children. Be patient and he will let you know when he is ready. – Bernie

Dear Training Trouble, Not to worry, he will get there! Most parents who have gone through this can relate, so don’t be embarrassed! Try not to give it too much attention or have it become a bigger issue. Every child is different in their learning and development and the timing of when! It’s really a miracle! – Taren

Coming from the mother of two young boys, I can very much relate! It can be very frustrating and feel like it’s taking forever (especially the second time around), though they will eventually get it! It’s hard to let go of the negative feelings, though you’ll all feel better if you can find a way to! We can do this! – Diana

Everything in it’s own time, mama! That being said, potty training is one of my least favorite parenting “things,” but we still have to do it. No need to add the extra pressure to yourself and your child by comparing your unique situation to other moms. It’s not fair to either of you. It’s my understanding that boys potty train later than girls for biological reasons, it is normal for kids to regress while toilet training, and that every child is different. In my experience, the less pressure you or daycare or whoever puts on a child to potty train, the faster it happens. Check your emotional reaction to set backs or accidents. How you react guides your child during this time. Take a deep breath and take the pressure off of BOTH of you! This too shall pass. – Lori Beth

Dear Training Trouble, First, rest assured that your child will not be attending college in diapers! From experience, I know the struggle. All I can tell you is that he will go on the potty when he is ready. The normal age for boys is between 3-4 and I would not fret nor put pressure on your kiddo at this point. Kids are all different and they all hit milestones in their own time. He will get it! – Cortney

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