Social Media Meltdown

Dear yayas,

I just had a baby and I have so many friends and family pressuring me to post photos and updates on social media. I don’t feel comfortable having my kid’s face on any social media, private or otherwise. What do I say to these constant requests? 

– Private Accountant

Hi Private Accountant, Congratulations! Please don’t feel pressured to put your children on social media. This is the first of many parenting decisions where everyone else will pressure you to do things their way. You be you and go with your gut. Offer to mail photos (old school style) or you can start a share site on a photo hosting site if you are comfortable with that, or even email/text photos to the close friends and family that you know would enjoy the updates. – Cortney

Hello Private Accountant, What I do not think a lot of people realize is that once you post images on social media they are no longer just your property. Which means these sites can do what they want with your images. Ultimately your family needs to respect your wishes and understand what it actually means to share on social media. If you are not comfortable I would advise you to stand your ground and let them know this. I was very uncomfortable about posting images of my daughter in the first year. As she got older I started to share more, but you have to do what is best for you and your family. – Nadia

When I first joined social media it was to see pics of my friend’s kiddos, many of whom were living abroad. Social media made life easier for the parents. Instead of sending snail mail to a dozen individuals they could post once at no charge and it was done without much thought after the fact. Sadly, this is no longer true. What was once a convenience has become a legitimate concern for parents. The bottom line is there are numerous reasons to be concerned about posting photos of your children online. If it is not something you are 100% comfortable with, the in the words of Nancy Regan, just say no. When you start to feel the pressure to post simply stay we’ve made a conscious decision to limit exposure on social media. End of story. And as always, trust you instincts and trust that those who have your best interest at heart will support you. – Karen

Aloha Private Accountant, It is okay to not feel comfortable with sharing pictures or updates of your littles on social media. I have found that remaining consistent with your response to others empowers you to take on the new parenting role with greater ease. I have had similar concerns, and let people know that I’m not comfortable or ready to share on social media at this time. If they question why, I respond that as a momma bear I have my reasons. – Bernie

Dear Private Accountant and protective parent, It is okay to say just that! “I don’t feel comfortable having my kid’s face on any social media, private or otherwise.” Maybe someday you might, or maybe not. And that’s fine! Congratulations on the birth of your precious baby! I’m sure you will be coming into this same scenario over the coming years with other issues as it is all a part of it. Just know that you know what is best for your family and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone. Just say, “this is how our family does it” and be confident in that! – Taren

You’re doing a great job setting boundaries and sticking to them – that’s awesome! Honesty is the best policy and continue to do what’s right for you and your own family. Also, keep in mind that these requests are coming from a place of love. It’s great that they’re interested in your family’s life, so perhaps think of a way to connect with those “picture requesters” in a different way – like a phone call, video chat, or play date. – Diana

Social media isn’t for everyone—just because it exists does not mean that you are required to participate. With the birth of a baby comes the creation of a new family…and the creation of new boundaries. Parents are the only ones who get to decide what is best for their baby and family. Sometimes the requests for photos & posts can be a cry to feel included. People often make requests out of the fear of feeling left out instead of putting what’s best for baby before their own desires. Your obligation is to your baby and no one else. Plus, babies are a lot of work and take up so much time! You don’t need the extra pressure to maintain a social media account when you’re sleep deprived and busy figuring out your new normal. You do you, mama. – Lori Beth

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