Make time to talk with your family. Oftentimes, when we try to make positive changes in our family and no one notices, it’s easy to get frustrated or even angry that “you’re the only one doing it.” It’s not hard to fall into the martyr role.
The truth is, everyone in our family has different needs/wants/goals each day and more than likely aren’t mind readers. So let’s bring them in on our work and establish family goals for Alone Time. Let’s really start to teach them the value of Alone Time. The conversation might look a little like this, “Hey, guys! I’ve been thinking…I know each of us has different likes. It can be hard to always be together as a family every minute of every day. We each need time away to take a deep breath and just do something we love, something that is just ours and not the family’s. We each could use some Alone Time. I like to __________. I noticed you like to _____________. What else do you like to do? How can we help each other have time and space to do those things we love?” Then listen. Chances are high they might have some really good ideas.
For the younger crowd, you can keep it simple. Even asking them what they like to do or talking about what you like to do starts the conversation. For moms with babies, tell them now so they grow up knowing that your family does Alone Time and that’s okay.
Use the terms and words. Use “Alone Time” to describe time alone. Call it what it is. Give it a title to take away the secrecy of it. Give it a name so that your family knows what it is—it’s challenging to value something that doesn’t even have a name. There seems to be such a stigma around it. We’ve found in our house that the more we talk about it and really start to define what Alone Time is to us, the easier it is to ask for it and actually get it when we need it.
Growth isn’t a secret—it is the positive change we are modeling for our kids.