Eye contact isn’t the only non-verbal cue that communicates connection. Have you hugged your children family today? Are you huggers? Why or why not? What other non-verbal techniques do you use to stay connected? Secret handshakes? High fives? Write them down.
Do an honest analysis: How often are you on your phone when you are also trying to interact with your child? Do you ever make requests or try to listen while staring at a screen instead of making eye contact? Is this a habit you’d like to shift?
There is a lot of power in intentionally pausing before we engage with our children. Do you pause when interacting with your children? Do you stop and see what they are doing or do you jump to conclusions? Do you tend to make assumptions or ask questions? Give the idea of pausing a few minutes of thought today and write about it.
Remember last week when we did an analysis of ourselves in relation to social media and our phones? What about your children (if applicable)? Think about their electronic use vs. face-to-face interactions. Write about quality and frequency. If your kids are too young for social media’s influence, is this something you worry about or take steps to prevent?
Are you good at back and forth conversation? With adults? With children? Are you a talker or listener or both? Is there an area you want to work on during conversations? Speaking up more? Talking less? Listening more? Your confidence in conversations? Write down your conversation goals.
Write about when and how you interact with your children. Do you engage with them only when you want them to do something? Or mostly when you are meeting their needs? Do you pause for the simple joy of connecting because you love them?
Think about your children…do they make eye contact often? Do they avoid it? Observe your children this week and take notes about what you notice.
Eye contact acknowledges a shared moment–a connection–even in passing. It dissolves barriers. It can show you’re listening with your whole being. It can show you understand without saying a word. Do you ever share knowing glances with people? Your partner? Best friend? Your children? Write about moments when you have spoken with your eyes instead of your lips.
Eye contact can be easier with engagement. Add a smile or a question to your gaze. How did it go today? Was it easier to make eye contact? Still strange? No big deal?
Are you nervous about making more eye contact? Create smaller goals if it feels like too much – aim for one hour a day or a set number of people. Write down your goal.
Do you feel like the use of phones and computers has us looking down more than up? How about you? Do an honest assessment of your phone/electronics use as it compares to meaningful face-to-face interactions.